M.R...WHAT?

It all happened pretty fast but I got the authorization for the MRI for my brain and made the appointment for this morning. Chris (being the amazing husband that he is) took the day off to be with me lest I have a complete panic attack meltdown.

During registration I couldn't help but peer at the paperwork the clerk had. I hadn't seen my diagnosis or anything and I was curious. The whole thing changed when I read it.

First of all, my diagnosis is listed as "rule out acoustic neuroma" which is an inner ear/brain tumor. Now, in my heart of hearts (whatever that means) I know that this is all just a precautionary thing. However, I would have felt better not actually being given the diagnosis that a tumor needs to be ruled out. I would have been happier with "Diagnosis: Crazy Girl is dizzy, gets annoyed by it" or something trivial like that.

Second, in little letters next to the order for the MRI it says IVC. Umm..IVC!!? OMG!!! WTH!!! (okay I know it means intravenous contrast, but I had NO idea I needed it.) Apparently (later explained by the MRI tech) they put in the authorization without contrast but for what they are looking for they needed pictures both with and without contrast. I have no idea why, but I was struggling not to freak out about this. Either way it had to be done, so I quickly compartmentalized it and pushed it out of my mind.

Fast forward- The radiologist comes in to talk to me and Chris about the sedative he is going to give me (Ativan) and why it's better than Valium blah blah. Then he gets to the good part about how I can't work the rest of the day AND how Chris should take me out to dinner. I love doctors.
He gives me the pills and tells me to let them melt under my tongue because they will work faster that way. Then he gives me a little zen lesson about going to my happy place, a place where I feel safe and peaceful. He prohibited us from speaking about the Vice Presidential debate (he must have overheard our former discussion which I won't bother you with the details of) and said that I have to focus on calming thoughts. We then waited for the MRI tech to come get us, which wasn't long.

The MRI facility at Arroyo Grande Hospital is a modular unit in the parking lot. The MRI tech was a super cool, funky 1970's-esque guy (I could almost see him in bell bottoms with a bandanna tied around his forehead) who played awesome music like Hendrix in his own little MRI world. It was oddly comforting AND Chris got to come into the unit with me and stay behind the safety glass. It was so comforting knowing he was nearby.

Now by this time I was told the sedative would start to take effect, but nothing so far. Not until I laid down and the tech put a metal cage over my head and pushed me into the tube did it actually start kicking in. Let me tell you, it wasn't a minute too late. I was on the verge of freaking out until I felt my body relax and then I was sleeping..mostly. When I was awake I tried so hard to go to my happy place. I was back at my very awesome DMB concert and I was rocking out and then the sound of the MRI machine would mix in with the sound of the music and it started to sound all out of tune and just...wrong. So I had to give it up. I tried several more happy places, which lasted the rest of the time in between consciousness.

Then came time for the IV contrast. By this point, I was on cloud nine. I tried to tell the MRI tech where my best veins are for IV's, but I am not sure if he understood me because I am not sure if I was speaking English. Apparently it took him quite a few pokes to find a vein, which was A-ok by me because I was totally out of it. After he got the contrast in, it was back in for more happy place pandemonium set to the tune of the MRI machine.

Bottom line is this: I made it out of the machine! YAY!!!

I managed to get some lunch in me before I passed out for the rest of the afternoon and into the early part of the evening.

For those of you still reading, you will be happy to know Chris took me and Logan out for my post-MRI pre-birthday dinner at Red Lobster. And now we have a nice relaxing evening at home while Logan spends some quality time with his Oma.

I got the most awesome birthday present ever, but I will save that for a different blog (probably Sunday after my actual birthday!)

Last but not least, I will probably know the results of the MRI sometime at the beginning of next week. Good news: Chris saw some of the images of my brain and ladies and gentlemen: I do have one.